I am Blue-ish
If you live in San Francisco, chances are you know about “Cafe Grattitude,” AKA “Cafe Attitude,” a vegan and mostly raw restaurant that serves exquisite, expensive and somewhat pretentious dishes.
It’s a wonderful place, really, and the food makes you go Zing all the rest of the day. It’s a great alternative to the Eggs and Home Fries based brunch that plunges you into a coma from which pots of coffee can only partly revive you.
My only qualm with Cafe Grattitude is the way things are named on the menu. It’s very precious. Every dish is named “I am….” and then an adjective that is luminous and new agey. For example:
“I am Honoring” = Nachos
“I am Elated” = Enchiladas
“I am Insightful” = Spring Rolls
So in ordering, you verbalize a positive statement about yourself and put it out to the Universe!! Get it? It’s so life affirming!! Much better than being in a diner in New York and saying “Yeah lemme get a scrambled egg on Rye, thanks.”
The name of that one would be “I am Impatient and Do You Have a Problem with That?”
Today at Cafe Grattitude I ordered the Chocolate Mousse, which the intensely smiling waitress translated for me: “I am Magnificent.” When I got the check, I thought of a new name for the dish. I wanted to tell them they could call it “I am Paying 8 Dollars for a Chocolate Mousse.”
But did I tell this to the Cafe Grattitude staff? No I did not. Would that be because…
“I am Chicken Shit?”
MonkeyTea 